For weeks the mom’s have been telling me all about Christmas. Mama C especially loves Christmas – she loves the lights, the decorations and the wonderful spirit that fills people for the month of December. We’ve been listening to christmas carols, reading The Grinch, and watching cheesy movies on tv. There was someone else who loved Christmas very much, my Grandma and we were really really excited about packing up the car and spending the days with all of Mommy’s family at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. Then, last week before I even really understood what was happening, Mama C told me that Grandma had passed away. She tried to explain that this meant that Grandma went back to heaven but all I knew is that she wouldn’t be around to spend Christmas with me. This made me really really sad and made everyone else really sad too, especially Mommy, Grandpa and Uncle Jeff. Something just doesn’t feel right without Grandma around. She was a pretty amazing woman: she knew exactly how to hold me, she let me make funny faces at her and was never insulted when I was cranky with her. She and Grandpa spent a lot of time with me in the hospital over the summer and I really got to know how wonderful she was. She loved coming to hang out with me and didn’t even mind when my g-tube would open up all over her and made her all messy. She even learned to bring a change of clothes when we were going to hang out because I always seemed to leak all over her. I think it was a sign that she loved me very much.
So, now it’s Christmas and we’re all here in her house, remembering how much she loved this time and how much she loved all of us. It’s hard because we’re sad and we miss her a lot already, but we’re trying to put on our brave faces because we know how much she loved the holiday and how excited she was to have us all here together. So, for the next few days we’ll be keeping her in our minds and remembering how to keep her in our hearts all year long. We love you Grandma.
I wasn’t always this big you know? I started out pretty tiny – 1.78kg to be exact (that’s 3.9 pounds). But over the last year, I have grown bigger and stronger with every day and every week and every month. And now, today is my first birthday and even though there were some sad times and scary times, I think that my life is pretty amazing and I’m happy to be sharing my first birthday with all of you.
For the last few days there has been a flurry of excitement going on at our house. I didn’t quite understand what was going on: we were shopping a lot, the mom’s were cleaning a lot, and then yesterday Mommy was going to town making all of these donuts. Then today, I had to get up a little early, have a bath and put on a (really pretty) new dress. Mama C took extra time to do my pigtails just right and even though I wasn’t feeling great, I let her do it. Mommy was no where to be seen but then Grandpa appeared and we got to go for a drive in his car (not the lexus though, so I’m still a little disapointed!). We got to this little community centre and Mama C and I found Mommy, with Grandma and Telly and Theresa all working hard in the kitchen. Then I turned around and saw Gramma and my great Aunts Martina and Bev and my cousin’s Connie and Alex! I really didn’t understand what was going on.
Before I knew it, the whole room was filled with all of the people that I love the most! Auntie CC, Thor & Uncle Rico, Uncle Jeff and Auntie Marina, Natalie, Joey and Jason, Jacquie (who I hadn’t seen in so long and missed!). It was just crazy! Everywhere I looked there was someone that I really wanted to go and see and get caught up with. But the problem was, I was also feeling a little bit sick (my nose has been a bit stuffy and today I started coughing and I think I had a bit of a fever). And when I get sick I do get a little bit cranky, so even though I really wanted to make my way around the room and say hello to everyone, I was also very happy when just one person would hold me and I got to fall asleep.
But after I woke up (and had a bit of a bottle), the mom’s stood with me beside this beautiful blue and white cake and everyone gathered around, camera’s in hand, and started to sing. For a minute I really didn’t get it (even though I liked the singing very much) but then I realized that they were singing Happy Birthday….to me!!! This was my birthday party! I was so sick and unhappy that I didn’t even notice, until everyone sang and then I got to eat a cupcake! Well, I got to eat the icing off of the cupcake, but everyone knows that’s the best part anyway.
I just couldn’t stop myself from going back for more and more icing. Apparently it was okay though, because everyone laughed and thought I was pretty cute (they’re learning these people!). And I really was happy because everyone seemed to have a good time and once I was able to take it all in, I realized just how lucky of a girl I am that all of these people love me so much that they wanted to come and be a part of my very first birthday! And don’t even get me started on all of the wonderful, kind and thoughtful gifts that people brought. I might just be the luckiest girl in the world!